Traveler's Lament

The Traveler’s Lament………”Been There, Done That”

Marty and I are into our second day of our third circuit of the Baltic Sea and its marvelous ports of call. Marty has made these stops a half dozen times or more during his 54 cruises in the past three plus years. While I had stopped at these same destinations twice each in the past, our first circuit was still exciting for me. There was a certain degree of anticipation with each stop knowing the sights I would see and the experiences I would enjoy. It was fun.

A second time around took some of the luster off of the shiny side of the apple and my interest became one of looking for new sights and things to do. In most cases, such was hard to come by given the time restrictions of a one day port visit. Now that we’re into our third circuit, I can’t really suggest that the upcoming port calls find me with a lot of excitement and explorer’s interest. In the end, I will know that I will enjoy strolling the same streets and touring the same buildings again but it won’t really be the same. That is, it won’t be the same this time but next time, on our fourth circuit of the Baltic, my Dottie will be here to see all of this for her first time. I will be able to share her excitement and see all of these marvelous sights through her inquisitive eyes. For the first time. Our “second time around” is turning out to be loaded with good times and new experiences for both of us.

Travelers finding themselves in my situation need to be creative in making this cruise even more exciting than the last one.

For instance: Today Marty and I “crashed” the party that the ship’s Master (some call him Captain) threw for the “Latitude Club” members. This is an exclusive club limited to those who have sailed in an NCL ship at least one time before this cruise. As an enhancement staff person, Marty isn’t turned away from such gatherings and I walked in to shake hands with the Captain and his staff in Marty’s shadow. We drank the captain’s drinks, ate the Captain’s canapés, and listened attentively when the administrative staff of the ship were introduced, sans the captain. He was at the door to shake hands with supposed Latitude Club members and then disappeared; probably to keep the ship from sinking or something of that magnitude that Captains do on an hourly basis. While the music provided by one of the dance orchestras was nice (no one danced), it seemed the main reason for the gathering was to sell members on taking another cruise right away. A half hour pep talk was given by one of the cruise sales staff. In my opinion, it was like preaching to the choir. All present were veteran cruisers who will probably take yet another cruise anyway. I should note that of a reported 600 club members on board, it appeared that less than 100 chose to come to the party. They were probably enjoying themselves more bundled up on the wind swept decks trying to catch the little bit of sunshine that escaped occasionally through diminutive holes in the sky full of threatening looking clouds.

One of the officers came to our table and we invited her to sit down for a chat. Her name was Carolyn and I told her that her name would be etched on my Ginko stimulated memory forever because my favorite younger sister is named Carolynn. Her assignment was Chief of Housekeeping. Some ships call this position Hotel Manager because her staff includes the stewards that clean the staterooms, change the linen and keep clean towels in the loo. I told her that her crew was doing a great job down at the bottom of the ship on our floor. I didn’t add that often our room is not “done” until just before the late dinner service. None the less, the lady had a big job and one that all of the passengers profit from.

I was able to ask Carolyn Sir (she had two strips on her epaulets) how many passengers we had on board. She was quick to tell us that 2601 souls are on our current cruise. On asking my second obvious question, She new that exactly 2,830 passengers could be accommodated on the Norwegian Jewel. Marty and I figured that would mean that all of the fold up cots hanging on cabin walls, like in our cabin, would be in use. Since Marty and I fill our cabin to overflowing, I don’t think I’d like to sail as the third person in stateroom 5596.

Back to the role of the becoming disinterested traveler, one might suggest that there’s a ton of stuff to do on a cruise with something for every interest. Let’s see now; what might that be. Today the “Freestyle Daily” implored we passengers to try one of the following on for size:1. How about a Comedy Workshop for “Class Clowns” featuring the cast of “Second City”, an improvisational group entertaining onboard, as teachers. The announcement says that one should come ready to discover how naturally funny you already are. I’ve been called a lot of things over the years but never “funny”. Maybe that’s for someone else.2. Then there’s the “Grand Finale Art Auction with a last chance to collect “the art you really love.” There will be free champagne and a raffle for a $500 bid credit. I’m not into raffles but the champagne sounds like a possibility. I’ll keep that in mind. What do you want to bet there’ll be another “Grand Finale….” or the same thing with another name before the end of this cruise?3. Would you like to show off your talents on the main stage of the Stardust Theater. Come on down an do your thing with the stage band ready to back up your vocal, soft shoe shuffle or what have you. The thing that amazes me is that every cruise I’ve been on has asked for passengers to perform in “Talent Shows” and there are always people who clammer for the opportunity. I went to one of the “talent” shows once and was thrilled to hear a ninety-two year old retired school teacher read a poem extolling the virtues (?) of our current president. I don’t think I’ll go again.4. For you sports there will be a Texas Hold ‘em tournament at 10 AM Or while you’re in the sinning’ area you can sign-up for the qualifying rounds of the slot and black jack tournaments. It only costs $15 to register for the action. He who loses the most doesn’t win; it’s the other way around. Not for me I’m afraid.5. Athletes of the world, your attention please. At 8:00 AM in the Gym there will be a complimentary “Stretch Class”. I think that means for those who show up you will be complimented on how great you look in your exercise outfit (which may be a bit of a stretch).6. Did you know that you can attend a lecture on the finer points of playing the game of cards called bridge. If you pass the daily quiz you can come back in the afternoon and play the game. You don’t even need to bring a partner for the game. The management kindly provides fourths when needed (that‘s where I come in. You were probably wondering how I got this cushy job).7. At 9;30 AM there’s a “Review Dance Class”, with Jack and Carol. If you don’t know how to dance don’t come. I mean, what’s to review if you ain’t already got it? Now at 3:00 PM you can learn how to Cha Cha with Vlad and Alina. It sounds as though it might be and Eastern European version of the Cha Cha but if you don’t know it can’t hurt. Can it?8. Once you athletic types have stretched, you can go out an play tennis at 10:00 AM, Dodgeball at 11:00 AM and Basketball at noon.9. If that’s not enough, Professor Kinnaird will tell you all you ever wanted to know about “Why England is Protestant” . Or, an hour earlier he will let you in on the little known facts about European and Russian Religious buildings. Or, in private consultation, he is known to be available to tell you almost everything about anything you don’t know.10. And if that still isn’t enough to keep you occupied and your brain all atwitter, at 1:00 PM Matt Bloomberg will tell you all you need to know about buying your next camera. This will be especially relevant if you’ve noticed that everyone on the ship seems to have a fancier looking camera than the new one you just bought at Wal-Mart before leaving home.

In the afternoon, things really get exciting. We have “Piano Melodies with Vladimir”, a musician who plays by the hour without ever looking at the keyboard or stopping between songs; “Music Mania” with DJ Pedro; “International Dance Hits with the Ironics”. a great quartet with two very talented girl singers; “Smooth Melodies” with the Alambre Trio, three talented men who sing and make a wonderful sound; “Karoke Blast” with who ever shows up; and Singer/Guitarist RJ “Red”. It’s great if you like music. If you don’t, you can go to your cabin.

Come to think about it, which I obviously haven’t before sitting down to compose this too wordy epistle, being on a cruise ship is a nice place to be. Oh yes, and then there’s breakfast, lunch and dinner plus brunch, tea time and midnight buffet and a Frosty Freeze type ice cream machine that runs 24/7. And for the ever thirsty and/or those who aren’t having a good time yet, we have eleven bars that never seem to close. Happy cruising!

My love to all,

Grandpa Bill, Dad, Bill and Mr. B
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